Well then You,
What a summer I have had! Grease was great. Totally got mentioned in all the reviews it had, with descriptions such as 'a standout moment of the show', 'manages to convey poignancy, as well as the steely shell of the character' and 'by far the strongest dancer on stage' all not applying to me. I am also including the review that apologised to me (and a ream of other people) for not mentioning me in favour of local people, thus inadvertently mentioning me. Gotcha. What I'd like to know is: WHERE WAS MY LOCAL PAPER? Reporting on some new benches in the shopping centre, probably.
I also went on a boat to Norfolk. This was a mixed bag/boat. Whilst I had a great time, and got to eat pub food almost every day, some aspects were disappointing. The ceilings were very low, so I think I lost more than a few braincells every time I smacked my forehead into them. One evening, we had a Chinese takeaway, delivered in a rather unscrupulous manner. We had to go and wait in a lane, and then a small car approached and flashed its headlights, signalling us to come to it. We then swapped a box for money. It all felt like what I imagine a drugs exchange to be like. Whilst I don't go outside often enough to meet drug-dealers, I feel as though I happened upon one that evening. 'Well,' I can hear you thinking, 'that doesn't sound too negative. More like something you'd laugh with your grandchildren about, really.' Well to you I say two things:
1. I hate children intently so it's rather unlikely that I would accidentally chance upon even one generation of offspring, let alone two. So stop thinking these silly things.
2. The tale does not end with the dodgy exchange. Whilst cutting open the first of my three vegetarian spring rolls (called 'pancake rolls' in the menu, but there was no hint of sugar or lemon so I don't believe it. And yes, three, so fucking judge me), my suspicion was aroused- cheeky- by its contents and its lack of resemblance to any spring rolls, pancakey or otherwise, so I asked around to ascertain whether it contained dead animals or not. It appeared that it did so I freely offered the remaining spring rolls to my meat-eating companions. Upon opening theirs, however, they announced that THEY WERE VEGETARIAN. The spring rolls, not the companions. So, the vegetarian status of the rolls was very much hit and miss, and it honestly felt like I was in a horror film.
Oh yes, and I got three As and a B at AS Level. Whilst the B was in Drama- the industry I wish to go into- I am overlooking it as it is not really that proper a subject and I'll end up being a waiter or working at McDonald's anyway, who am I kidding?
So, that was my summer. It felt as though there was lots more, but time can be a fickle bitch, so seven weeks may seem like a fortnight. As I return to a proper schedule in terms of my life, I shall update this blog more regularly. See you then,
Yours autumnally,
M.
