The Time is Now. The Day is Here.

Oh You,

It's been too long, my dear friend. And for this I am sorry. Here's a recap of my life in the past few weeks:

- I did Les Mis (part A of today's title) and people actually seemed to like it. This was probably due to the French-themed bunting, but they clapped nevertheless. My mother was fairly disappointed that she hadn't been informed of the 'Bring Your Own Wine' situ, but it's good to remind people that life isn't always fair.
- I have had not one, but two, romantic liaisons. Their names? Ben. And Jerry...
- I went to Alton Towers yesterday- y'know, that one with the loopy rides and intermittent piles of sick? Anyway, I went on the Smiler ride, that new one, unknowing of the fact that just last week a bolt had slipped. I'm not joking, but shouldn't that have been mentioned beforehand? Anyway, just to spite the park for its unreliable Sonic Spinball ride, I decided to hold the most neutral expression possible for the photo, thus rendering their claim that the Smiler 'will make you smile' incorrect, and perhaps eligible for a legal dispute. Which brings me on to point number four:
- I have been magically introduced to the world of Drop Dead Diva. It's basically about this model who dies and gets put back in the body of a lawyer, so she's basically a lawyer now, except she's a bit thick. It's great and, coupled with Legally Blonde, has sort of persuaded me to pursue a law career. But alas! I must amend that personal statement that...I...have written...all...of...

And finally (seriously, M? That's all you've done in three weeks?), part the second of my title, today is my 17th birthday! Hooray for me, as it means there's only 365 days until I can sign up for internet dating, and let's be honest, I'm so going to need it. My parents bought me some amazing T-Shirts with Big Bang Theory and Modern Family references on, but I have just realised this:
They are a size 'L' (which, I'm assuming, stands for 'Large') and are FROM AMERICA. Apologies to any Americans out there (primarily for being American), but that country is generally rather large. And a 'large' there must be at least the equivalent of a 'XXXXXXXXXL' here. Right? Oh, they fit quite well and are great T-Shirts? Okay then, looks like I'll have to break up with Ben. And Jerry.

We really must stop meeting like this, You,

I WILL write soon,

M.

P.S. I hope I didn't offend any Americans, but that's how the world perceives you; the power of change is in your hands. Along with a Big Mac, probably.