Dear You,
I've just got back from a few days in Scarborough or, as I like to call it, Land of Fish and Chips and Overpriced Amusements. It was nice. Here's some of the fun stuff I did:
- Had a cheese and onion sandwich with mustard mayonnaise; is it possible for your mouth to have an orgasm?
- Bought five doughnuts for £2- perhaps the best £2 one can ever spend?
- Watched 'Epic' on a rainy day and thought it was good, if not a little like the lovechild of Arthur and the Invisibles, The Spiderwick Chronicles and Avatar. And (SPOILER ALERT) the death of Beyoncé was a heinous crime, and nobody played Single Ladies which I felt was a missed opportunity. Also, I wasn't expecting THAT many children who, whenever a humorous moment happened, felt the need to repeat it; I'm sorry, small child (who I think was called Arnold- who's called Arnold nowadays?), we HAVE JUST EXPERIENCED IT WITH YOU AND DON'T NEED AN ACTION REPLAY. This is why I'm not having children.
- Went to Whitby and had fudge called 'Dracula's Dream' which was chocolate and strawberry and perhaps better than the mouth-orgasm-inducing aforementioned sandwich. I also went round some vintage shops and tried on hats, and walked into a lamppost, which I then proceeded to apologise to. I did that to a bin once. WHY AM I ALLOWED OUT?
- Went to a Sea Life Centre, decided the queue was too long (it went outside the building- why would you bother), came back and told everyone that there was only one fish which is why we were gone fifteen minutes. I didn't expect them to believe me...
I also went on one of those Twister rides at the fair (yes, Scarborough Fair. Yes, we sang) and, after being squashed against the barrier by the centripetal force- GCSE Physics, thank you- acting upon by compartment-fellows, was convinced I had a punctured lung and genuinely feared for my life.
I do hope you've had a jolly decent half term, You.
Yours parsley-sage-rosemary-and-thymedly,
M.
P.S. Guess who's got another week off? That's right, be jealous.
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