Today, I experienced a learning curve in my life.
I pissed into a pot a stranger gave me.
It was for a chlamydia test, but I'm fairly sure I know the result- unless there's been some crazy change to the universe whereby virgins can now get STDs. Despite a fairly spoilerish circumstance, I basically did it to get the free stuff they were offering. They had chocolate, t-shirts (with slogans such as 'Rubber Up, Duck'; dutty), Harry Styles or Ant and Dec masks. However, I panicked and went with an 'iPhone Trumpet' which is a bit of silicone you put your phone in and it allegedly makes the music louder.
It doesn't.
Yours chlamydia-less,
M.
P.S. Found a new love for this guy:
And also for his Harry Potter and Villain songs. Maybe he'll marry me...
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